25 Facts About Me

1. I don't like being alone. But I live alone. So I beg people to come over all the time.
2. I am 32 in June.
3. I hate sticking my hand in the sink to unplug food from the drain. So I just do dishes by running water the whole time and not plugging the sink. But I don't believe in wasting water. This is a crisis of my conscience.
4. I saw a girl with 2 heads today. One body.
5. I have seen every episode of the Golden Girls.
6. I am super responsible. Sometimes.
7. I want to help everyone.
8. Nobody wants my help.
9. I never clean my room.
10. I hate it on Lost when the people don't talk to each other about the crazy thing that just happened. Just once I'd love to see somebody say, "wasn't that weird?!"
11. My favorite movie is Better Off Dead.
12. My favorite song is Your Love is Lifting me Higher by Jackie Wilson.
13. I am 45 minutes late to work every day.
14. I do most things out of obligation.
15. Beth Lindahl and Charli Taylor have babies! But not me, and I am jealous.
16. I ran three marathons in one year.
17. My little sister can beat me up.
18. Daniel Tosh thinks my voice is "shrill".
19. I fear silence. And so I end up revealing too much about myself.
20. I want to slap people's butts when I walk by them, in a gesture of friendship.
21. I came up with the phrase "Osama Been Bombin'" and thought it would be all over the papers on 9/12, but it didn't really catch on.
22. I love traveling but I hate flying.
23. I spend 10 minutes per day pinching every pore on my face, hoping for an amazing explosion.
24. I once pooped in a ziplock bag.
25. I once pooped in my hand.