The Turd Burglar

Today I was getting Miles and Murphy ready to go home after our SUPER FUN DAY and I went in the bathroom and found there was a huge long turd in the toilet. No pee, just a big ol' turd, and only two squares of toilet paper. I got really scared because the boys and I had just spent a few hours on a bike ride and I had left my door unlocked. I asked Miles if it was him. He said NO, and I knew it couldn't be Murphy because he's just now potty training and didn't say anything to me about having to go to the bathroom, and I knew it wasn't me. (I did have to think about it.) I came to the conclusion that surely somebody came in my house, pooped, and was waiting for me to fall asleep so he/she? could kill me. Maybe the turd was their M.O.? They poop in the victim's toilet as a kind of calling card?

I didn't want to be weird but I brought it up to Kasey. I guess so if I got murdered tonight she would know it was the Turd Burglar. She told me that it was totally Murphy. I couldn't believe it. I have changed this kid's diapers and pull-ups for many years and I have never seen him do anything but smooshy diaper poop or smaller roundy poop balls. This was a huge 8 inch adult log. I was instantly very insanely proud of him. He went number two on the toilet! My little boy is growing up!

(And I will survive another night of living alone.)