Here's why I save every email

I like to go back through old emails and re-read them. Because they're funny. Here's one that I sent to my friends on December 14, 2007:


p.s. I yelled at two loan officers today. One of them innocently came into my cube to ask a question, and took too long to get to the point. I said,

"WHY DOES IT ALWAYS TAKE YOU 15 MINUTES TO ASK YOUR QUESTION?!? CAN WE SEND DOCS TO CHICAGO? THAT'S ALL YOU NEEDED TO SAY! I DONT CARE ABOUT THE BACKSTORY. MY BRAIN IS TOO FULL TODAY. I AM TRYING TO LISTEN TO ALL THESE DETAILS YOU'RE GIVING ME ABOUT CLOSING IN MARCH, THEN FEBRUARY, THEN JANUARY, AND IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL QUESTION! YES WE CAN SEND DOCS TO CHICAGO. GET OUT OF HERE!"

Then one of my coworkers went into his office and told him that everyone thinks I am being a hag today.

p.p.s. I am not exaggerating.

p.p.p.s. So I'm spending some time on YouTube to calm down. Is it OK to drink at work?

This makes me think my family is not so bad...

For a Thanksgiving story that makes Hexum seem like the Cleavers,:

click here

The Favorite

Last night Kasey was again trying to get dad to admit that she is his favorite, and he said (yes!),

"You have always been my favorite KADY, I would never forget that!"

Hal. Again

My dad can never get anybody's name right. It's a problem. He used to call the store where I worked "Green Briar". The actual name? "Sweet Clover."

So here are some doozies from this weekend so far:

"Murph!...Sally!" (Miles)

"Tina!" (Miyo)

"Methuselah!" (Miyo)

"T-Shirts 'n' Muffins" (On Cue, another store where I worked)

How could anybody be this happy?

I love when I go to the grocery store and I tell them that I live alone. It's my favorite. The guy tonight said that I could feed an army. (I had the same guy who helped me out to the car last time. Remember, he told me that my car had that new smell, and was it a new car? And I said no it's 4 years old, but, "I try not to fart in the car.")

**To be fair I have family coming this weekend.

United Colors of Benetton

Guess which one is me?

Always with the cuties

I have a way with the elderly folks, it's true. Ever since I was a little kid. Once when I was about 12, my parents were wondering where I was, since they hadn't seen me all day. They eventually found me, a-swinging on the neighbor's swing, in between ol' Mr. and Mrs. Nicodemus.

This guy loved me. And I loved him too. But, I had a hard time looking away from the 40-year-old blackhead under his left eye. I kept wondering how I could convince him in broken Spanish and hand gestures that I needed to 'help him out' with it. In the end I left it alone, but it's still kind of haunting me.

Vegetarian Salad

Apparently in South America, if you are a Vegetarian, you just don't eat Red Meat. I ordered this vegetarian salad and was surprised to find not only eggs, but ham!!

The Andes

On the flight from Buenos Aires to Santiago I was seated by the window. Normally when I make my own travel arrangements I choose the aisle, because Im just a tad claustrophobic. This puts more space in front of my face. But, this time I´m at the mercy of the travel agency and I was seated by the window. Anyway, I was just minding my own business and the flight out of Buenos Aires is a little bit brown, since the countryside is mostly farms. Imagine my surprise when I happened to wake up from a little snoozer to see this:

I couldn´t help but wonder if I was prepared to eat someone in the event of a crash.

Swag

Check out all the gifts I received at the convention. Almost covered my whole bed! Such wonderful, warm, loving people. I felt like a celebrity and was mobbed just like one. People waited in line for a photo and gave me handmade presents. It was so much fun.

The obelisk

Kidnapped in my birth year

Thousands of people were arrested, kidnapped and disappeared in 1977. They were either protesters, or completely innocent people. Some were imprisoned and had children, who were then illegally adopted out. There are news stories all the time now of grandchildren being reunited with grandparents they didnt know they had. These kids are about my age. We saw a camera crew interviewing a woman in an area of the town, and she was walking with what looked to be her grandfather. On the ground there were paintings all around in a huge circle of white handkerchiefs (shaped like they were tied around a womans head). Apparently after the kidnappings and for years the mothers would come down to this area and wait for their children or get together in solidarity at least...a plea to the government for an explanation of where their children were.

If you want to complain about something...

You just go to the town square and protest. Lots of protests will go on at the same time, for just about any reason. Civil unrest!

Jessica and Me

So here are some photos of us in Buenos Aires. Jessica gave me two full days of walking tours, and we met up with her friends in the evenings. This first one was taken by an American woman who clearly doesnt get the concept of "if at first you dont succeed, try try again". She took one shot of us, while we were talking and explaining the camera and handed it back. Ummmm...everybody ALWAYS says, "do you want another one?"

These I took myself. At least its faster:

Ketchup

ElNeato

Eva Perron

She once stood here and addressed her people. I of course sang and/or hummed ¨Don´t cry for me Argentina¨ the entire day.



(This photo is a shout out to Jennifer Harazin.)

Tooling around Buenos Aires

I met a new friend and she took me for a walking tour of Buenos Aires. We stumbled upon an old book store, I really love the smell in these places. There were a million old books and most of them were in Spanish.

I arrived at 6am, and it took about 3 hours to get all 49 of the people from my bus to the hotel. We had breakfast and my tour guide picked me up at the hotel at 10am and we walked and walked and walked and saw some beautiful sights. I didnt really photograph them though because I had the beJeezus scared out of me for pickpockets. So the camera stayed in my bag.

I am a little too stupid for this place, i.e. walking around with my cash fanned out, putting my purse down and walking away, etc. In a few short days now I have learned to have a death grip on my purse and hold it in front of me. White knuckles.

Sorry no bloggy

So Internet access is spotty at best. Blogging from itouch. 2day went to EVA perrons tomb and saw famous bridges. Heard horrible news about dear frankie thru facebook. So sad. Will try harder for the blog when I'm in Santiago tomorrow.

Procrastinating, again

Once again, I should be packing, and I'm...on facebook.
I'm going to go take a walk.

I'm getting my hair done at 7 and after that I'm going to my friend Nancy's art show at the Northrup King Building. I fly out early tomorrow morning, so really I need to finish packing before 7. Right now it's 3:42. If I go for a walk, that will take an hour and then I only have 2 hours to pack. That sounds about right, to do all my laundry, tie 100 little gifts to my little cards, figure out two weeks worth of summer outfits complete with shoes, jewelry, underwear, etc? Right?

I think I work best under pressure.

So, here's what all the lucky people I meet are going to get. These are for the kiddies:

Stickers! Motion stickers!



And the adults will get 2010 planners, courtesy of the $1.00 aisle at Target. I am attaching a contact card to each item, you can see it here on the left. Matt Rector designed them for me, and I love them!! I think they kind of look a little like a Band-Aid, so I bought some Band-Aids to give out also. Now who doesn't need a motion sticker, a Band-Aid, or a 2010 Planner? I think I'm going to win a prize for best swag gifts.

Argen - TINA!!

I just made another connection in Buenos Aires, thank you very much Shawn! Jessica will be picking me up at my hotel on Monday and showing me the city until we meet up with Brett at 6pm. Then it's Tuesday at leisure, hopefully with Jessica as my guide and off to Santiago, Chile. So I really dont have to do any planning. For my trip that I'm going on next week. Yet. I still have a couple free days in Chile I need to fill...eek!  I'm just going to meet people. That's my un-planned plan.

Now, if I can't get my roots dyed and hair cut on Saturday the jig is up. You can't invite yourself places and make new friends if your hair looks like crap.

Travel Rule number 47, right?

I break it on every trip. Here's proof:

South Africa:

Spain:



China:



Mexico:



International Falls:



New York City:



Seattle:

too funny

It says, "MYSPACE: Next time you try to look hot, flush the toilet."

when my mom cooks breakfast

I die and go to heaven. When I woke up this morning, my mom was alread saute-ing the mushrooms and diced ham steak and rice and she had my dad shelling edamame. In another pan she cooked a perfect 5-egg omelette, flipped it perfectly, then loaded the saute into it, and without any sticking or mess or fuss, loaded this little number onto a plate. Actually it wasn't a little anything. That's a large dinner plate my friends. And when she was all done, she said, "I think I made too much."
But we made fast work of it, and washed it down with mimosas.

mmmmmmm

Kelly's trying to be my dad's favorite again.

She bought him this hat. It's a bit big for me, but, so was the title of 'favorite daughter'.

One thing about traveling that I'll just never get used to...

And you don't always run into this problem, but it happens sometimes...for example this photo was taken in a very nice restaurant in China. Now what the heck am I supposed to do with this?

No, your depth perception is not 'off', that toilet is in the floor. "Flush" with the floor you might say. (ahhahahaHAAAAHAHAHa) I'm not blind to the benefit of avoiding sitting on an icky toilet seat. I'm really not. But you do have to stand in pee. And walk back out to the restaurant. So you're tracking it all over the place. Not to mention logistics. I will give $500 to anybody who can use this thing without soiling themselves. And what about those times (say like, once per day) when you really just need to sit down?

Bill H.

I lifted this photo from a friend's facebook profile. That's probably illegal or something, but I thought my family would enjoy this shot of him. Looks like he's about to shoot an icicle dagger with a slingshot?

Remember on Annie...

...When Daddy Warbucks came to the orphanage to try and get Miss Hannigan to sign the papers so he could adopt Annie, but she wouldn't let him talk because she was totally hitting on him?

And she said, "I hunger for the ArgenTINE" and he'd correct her and go, "Argen-TEEN".

And she'd say, "I guess this means no BONUS Eye-Rees"
and he'd say, "WIIIIILLLL you sign?"
and she'd say, "Well, I don't need you"
and he'd say "That's fine!?!"
and she'd say "So just forget me!"
him: "The dotted line."
her: "Forget my sweetness"
him: "don't whine"
her: "forget you met me"
him: "You can't decline!"
her: "this day is sorta"
him: "SIGN!"
her: "my bread and WaterLOOOOOOOOOOO"
him: "SIGN!"
her: "Why didn't you say so in the first place? - Swine!"

Anyway, I kind of have that song stuck in my head since I'm going to Bonus Eye-Rees myself next week.