Ode to me

From an old pal:

She's not much to look at, this friend of mine,
kind of ugly and fat, much like a swine.
Her legs are like Jell-O, her hair is like hay,
she looks like someone you'd see at an Old Country Buffet.
Her teeth are as yellow as the bright morning sun,
her skin is a pale as a snow flake bun.
She is as wide as she is tall,
she's not very big but she sure ain't small.
Your eyes will tremble with pity and fear,
As you see this grotesque sight coming near.
But let me assure you she's a harmless lady,
She's my friend, and I love her, Her name is Kady.