Tonight's Doofass Story -- Straight out of the Lodge

You know the old trick, where you loosen the top of the salt shaker so some unknown future stranger gets a hilarious surprise?

Tonight, I did that to MYSELF with the carmel sauce.  Allow me to explain:

I was making a carmel ice cream sundae.  There are two kinds of carmel in our fridge.  Ice cream sundae  carmel that squirts like chocolate sauce, and then this stripe-making carmel designed so you can decorate the plate of a piece of cheesecake.  I wanted fast-squirt action, so I chose the former.  You squirt carmel in the bottom of the dish, then do a scoopy of ice cream and then cover that scoopy in carmel and do another scoop, followed by more carmel, then whipped cream and a cherry on top.

I ran out of the fast-squirt action stuff after the first squirt.  Now I had to use the stripe stuff and it wasn't coming out very fast.  So with all of my might and both palms I PUSHED and SQUEEZED it but still the carmel wasn't coming out fast enough for me.  So I unscrewed the top, poured a little bit on and then finished the last scoopy.  Time to cover it again with carmel.  I forgot I had loosened and then not tightened the top, and then proceeded to PUSH and SQUEEZE it with both palms, dumping the entire contents of the carmel sauce container onto this poor dude's sundae.

Of course it happened in front of the more experienced waitress who had already chided me Friday night for starting a fire in the microwave.  Also I washed too many napkins and she had to re-wash them because there were too many in the load to actually get clean.  And then I sort of purposely made it so she had to wait on three very drunk people.