I lived with my cousin Ryan for a lot of years, and one of the things about him was that he didn't have a ton of experience living with women. Take for example the time that he gave me the silent treatment for about a week. I couldn't take it anymore, and so finally I asked him, "What the heck is going on with you?" And he blurted out, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD PUT A BLOODY PAD IN THE GARBAGE!!" I was like, "what are you TALKING about?!" (I don't even use pads.) And then after much consideration, I realized that it was because he mistook the cotton ball I used to remove my red nail polish and then threw in the bathroom garbage for a discarded bloody pad.
I had to explain to him, that seriously, first of all: actual bloody period pads are not 2 1/2" in diameter, circular-shaped items. Secondly they do not have a tiny smidge of bright red on them. (In actuality, the red doesn't stay bright red, it turns gross brown immediately.) Secondly, if I'm making chore charts to ensure that the carpet is getting vacuumed regularly, and washer-and-dryer are being wiped down twice monthly, I'm just not a likely candidate for someone who would leave a bloody pad, face-up in the garbage for all to see.
Perhaps I should have used a huge piece of note-paper, as Ryan did one morning to notify me of a special present he had left behind:
"Dearest Cousin Kady, Beneath this lid you will find a log of gigantic proportions, Guiness Book of World Records in Fact. If you do not wish to view this atrocity, please flush and go about your normal day."
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| Me and Cousin Ryan. So innocent before the pad conversation. |
LOL
ReplyDeleteWel was it gigantic?
ReplyDeleteThe second hugest one I had ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid to ask what made it second...but, what made it second?
ReplyDeleteThe phantom turd I found in high school in a random second floor bathroom and slowly but surely EVERYONE (one by one) in the school saw it thanks to me.
ReplyDeleteAnd, NO, I didn't do it.
Kady I knew you would look! So did he, but that was polite of him to give you the choice.
ReplyDeleteOh Ryan. I miss his roomateshipdomness. Kady you missed out, Keri ALWAYS plugged the toilet growing up. Also come visit me, Karley is a regular at the most massive unflushables.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who would leave a bloody pad, well let's just say NOT in the trash. I finally have a computer at home. Glad you're over the fever. scary! Your pal Al
ReplyDeleteOK, I have a story to add for you Kady! A couple of weeks ago, I was at my best friend's home for a "fiesta". She is quite particular, similiar to your standards. As I was using her bathroom, I noticed a used, open pad in the garbage. I was shocked, my friend would be upset about this pad open and exposed in her garbage can - especially at a party! So being the friend I am, I was contemplating how to fix this situation. As I got closer to it, I discovered it was rather purplish "blood". At this point, I am thinking...someone has issues at this party. All of the sudden it hit me...it was "linkin park in the dark" purple nail polish. What do you know, panty liners make the best nail polish removers!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, thanks for sharing and sorry you are having a rough time in Central America! Amy F.