Currently Obsessed With...

RobbieMoto handmade leather goods on Etsy.com.  I swear if/when I ever return to civilization...:

Clutches

Wallets

iPad Sleeves

iPod / iPhone Sleeves

More Wallets (woodgrain is handstitched)

Totes (peacock feathers handstitched)

Click here to shop RobbieMoto on Etsy, (and tell her Kady sent ya.)

Dad, If This Doesn't Kill Me, I Know You Will.

I bought a motorcycle today.  A new car, if you will.  As in, "Nicole, should we take my car, or yours?"

Really it's just a bicycle with a 2-stroke gas/mixed with oil engine attached to it.  BiciMoto.  Pronounced "Bee See Moto".  You have to hold in the clutch, pedal like a madperson, then let out the clutch a little bit and give 'er the gas.  Then vinn ninn ninn ninnnnnn you're on your way.  Wohmmmm chicka wohnmmmm.  Mom, type me dad's response in the comments please.  I'm dying to hear what he has to say about this bad decision.

It's a Deal! 

This isn't going to be funny anymore when I really do die on this thing.

Notice the welded re-bar surf board holder.  Well, I don't have a surf board.  Some ideas I had about what to put there instead:

1) pieces of wood for fires on the beach
2) a painting
3) donut ring-toss game
4) French baguettes

I rode it home a thousand miles from Tamarindo to our apartment in Huacas, and it was pretty terrifying.  The thing goes 40 miles per hour.  I rode it smack dab in the middle of the lane.  If you wanna pass me, cars, you're gonna have to like wait and then pass.  I ain't gonna move over and have you run me down...not on this death trap.  I swear the wind almost knocked me out a couple of times.  I stopped at two shops on the way to buy a helmet but the best they could conjure up was a curved piece of styrofoam that straps under the chin.  No thanks, I'll hold out for something a little more stylish effective.

What a blast!

Rincon

Last Sunday five of us girls got together and drove up to the Rincon National Park to do the waterfall hike.  It's two hours up and two hours back.  At the top is a waterfall.  We bonded, saw monkeys, and I found out the $120 shoes I bought for Machu Picchu are not going to work. 

Rachel and her Military Issue Desert Lights.  She was miles ahead of us the whole way.

The Motley Crew - Ayano, Harumi, Rachel, Nicole and me

Ten people in a truck

Bouncey metal suspension bridges - watch out for tetanus

Can you believe this crazy tree?

I think this is where we started singing down the trail

The reward!  An ice cold waterfall lake!

And sandwiches, made by Nicole!

We did it.  We did it real good.

Can you see three monkeys?

That day, Ayano was saying that one of our photos could be our "CD Jacket", you know, like for a band.  Nicole and Rachel heard "sh*%ty" jacket, and asked her "WHAT?" a couple times before they finally got it.  Then everybody laughed.  Ayano said, "Please!  I'm Japanese!", and then everybody laughed again.

"Controlled" Burn

Often times we see something like this while driving down the road.  What's scary is that it is the dry season and the winds are very strong.

And the fire gets right up close to the road:

Seems like a crazy time to be doing a controlled burn, and we rarely see anybody controlling it.  One time a coupla dudes were hanging around nearby...

Fun with Language, Vol. 2

This is Harumi.  She is from Okinawa Japan, and is an English teacher and reflexologist.  She is very smart.  She also chooses to wear her backpack on her front, like so:

Lots of people do it.  Sometimes for security, or maybe they already have a huge backpack on the back.  In Harumi's case yesterday, it's because they are hiking a mountain in 90 degree weather and their back is hot so they switch it to the front.  Anyway she was wearing her backpack in the front in Maui one time, and she was paying at her hostel, reaching in front for her money.  The man at the desk said slowly and loudly, "do. you. know. how. to. wear. that?  It. goes. on. the. back.  That's. why. it's. called. a. BACK. PACK."

I asked her what she said.  She just laughed.  And then told me, "what an idiot man."

Oh, MAN!

I'm already feeling a little strange about the googling of my blog thing.  I kind of want to turn it off.  It's bad enough that a search for "mom pee pants" and "what is mean farts in Spanish?" brings weirdos here, and I really don't remember blogging about "touched raw salmon and didn't wash hands", but COME ON.  Now my feelings are seriously getting hurt.  Remember "nothing hot"?

Well...today somebody googled "ugly face blonde hair" and the google sent them directly to my blog.

:(

LOL

Some of my friends may have heard this one before, but what else is new?

One of my sister's in-laws thought that LOL meant "Lots of Love".  This was in the beginning stages of text language.  Anyway, sadly, a family member died, and this in-law sent out a nice email about her final moments to the entire family. 

The subject line?:

"Grandma died.  LOL"

Not Much Going On...

...I went to a new beach the other day with some friends, and I saw this woman wearing two hats.  I found it wildly adorable.  Also as you can see she is wearing a long sleeved shirt and as you can't see - long pants.  She told me that the sun can really bite you.  I met her whole family, and made them put on the big hat for photos.  She was just the nicest lady and I loved that I had this whole 'two hat' conversation IN SPANISH.

Life is Very Difficult

Sometimes the Japanese Reflexologist pokes really hard

In Training

THIS IS A BORING POST.


As I mentioned before, I will be hiking the Inca Trail on May 11th.  It is a four day hike, starting 8,500 feet above sea level.  The hike takes you up to 10160 feet the first night.  Day two is the most difficult day as it's a constant incline up to 13770 feet and back down to 11800 feet for another night of camping.  Day three brings you up to 12330 feet.  Day four we start at 5am to arrive at dawn at Machu Picchu at 8920 feet above sea level. 

In total, it's a 26 mile hike of major upping and major downing.  All starting at a crazy 8500 feet.  Naturally you kind of want to prepare yourself for such a feat.

So, how am I preparing?  By swimming of course.  It's so incredibly hot here that I can't really deal with many other forms of exercise.  And my apartment complex has a 25m lap pool.  I swim most days about 1000 meters.  Today I did 1200 meters (!), and added Pilates (my roommate is something of an expert).  As far as training the ol' legs, the other night she and I did all of the stairs of all 15 buildings before my swim.  Each building has 3 flights, with the first being on the ground floor, so that's 30 flights of stairs. 

Too bad you can't swim to the top of a mountain.

Langostas

Previously I had mentioned that I didn't have a photo of a langosta because when I see one, I get the heck out of there.

Well, Nicole lent me a photo.  Check it:

"Arrrgh!  This will replace the whale in me nightmares."

Here in Costa Rica, these nasty little over-inflated grasshoppers are everywhere.  And when they fly (YES, THEY FLY), their flight pattern is pretty psychotic, so you have to kind of hold your breath and/or scream and hope for the best.  Notice the little barb on the end of each of its disgusting legs.  Those barbs stick onto your clothing, so you better hope one never lands on you, because if it does, you can't just bat it away.  You have to grab it like in the above photo and pull it off of your clothes, and it does not want to let go.

I have heard nightmares of langostas careening into ceiling fans and the head flying one direction and the body the other.  I hope I never have to see that, cuz, well, you're going to have to call 911.

Getting Googled Vol. 4

Here are some recent Google searches:

'Peeing niece stories'

'Long toes'

'Once upon a time in a kingdom far fur in the south'

'My niece wants to pee on me stories'

'Pee like dickens'

Gross, right?!  What is up with some people in the Czech Republic?  Anyway, mostly the googling thing makes me laugh.  But today...this one, this one actually hurts my feelings.  Three times yesterday somebody, somewhere (perhaps three different people) on the globe googled:

'Nothing Hot'

'Nothinghot'

'nothinghot.com'

And got my website.  OUCH!  Nothing hot??  My website is chock full of hotness! They want hot?  I'll show them HOT.

Spilled cereal?  HOT.

Ooooooh Uncle Aaron you know you HOT!

SCUBA stands for HOT.  Stinger suit HOT.

Band-aid toe HOT.

What do 'www.peopleofwalmart.com' and 'Netflix' Have In Common?

They are both websites I wish I had invented come up with.  Seriously.  Netflix is probably the best idea of our time.  In my opinion.  What else can they send to my house in the mail and include a return envelope?  Bottles of wine?  With mail for recycling? 
Fresh vegetables?  Oh right.  They have that.
Mail?  hmmm...
I'll keep thinking on this one.  You know I like inventing things:


In the meantime, enjoy your new favorite photo blog:

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

It's funny, cuz it's true.  Actual photos of actual people as seen shopping at Walmart.  Here's a tiny sample. 

Bra Pants!

Spanish Lesson

Mira!  Es mi pollito! = Look! It's my baby chick!

Chicas Japonesas en la playa = Japanese girls on the beach

Este cerdo es usar tacones = This pig is wearing high heels

Esta estatua a caballo es un hombre = This horse statue is male

You Know I Have a Favorite Blog Too...

And, fourthly, after "A Lady Reveals Nothing", facebook and  perezhilton.com, my most-visited website is:

http://www.thesartorialist.com/

It's a dude who photographs random people on the street who he thinks are fashion amazing.  And, typically I agree.  Check it out, and please check out the following video:

Hot Tamale

Nicole and I happened upon a tamale making shop on a remote road in the middle of nowhere, and the lady who runs it welcomed us in, showed us the process, and gave us tamales!  Super delicious.  I love Costa Rican people.  So friendly.  p.s. The nickname for a Costa Rican is "Tico" (male) or "Tica" (female). 

So They Loaded Up the Truck and they moved to Beverly...

Remember our Former, Smaller Digs?

Yesterday we moved into our new place.  It was a little bit satisfying that we were able to pack in the span of an hour and then fit all of two people's stuff into a carload.  But man I'm glad I don't have to move again for a while. 

Things I like about the new place:

My own bedroom!  A place to change my clothes without having to hurry up so nobody sees me naked!  A place to put all my stuff!  There's a huge closet for all my clothes and junk, and that's my own balcony off to the left!

My own bathroom!  That's MY toothbrush you see there!

Huger living room with a nice big TV.

Huger kitchen.  And notice I won't have to dodge langostas or even spiders when I do laundry now.  Last night cooking was a much more pleasanter experience.  This place makes good grammar not even matter no more.

We're a tiny bit closer to the beach and grocery store.  Also now we have our pick of three pools, and I'm already planning on having pool days all the time.  What luxury!  Very exciting.

And I Can Embarrass Myself Even When Searching for a Scooter

I have been relying on Nicole for rides to pretty much everywhere I go.  You can't really walk anywhere here.  I mean, maybe to the mechanic but that's about it.  I decided to stay here in Costa Rica for another three months, and so I am in the market for a scooter.  Yesterday I went and looked at one, but the guy hadn't paid the Marchamo (yearly registration) for it.  Because of that I couldn't even take it for a test drive.  FAIL.

Today at lunch I noticed a local newspaper on the counter just as we were leaving.  I thumbed through it and found some Classified Ads and a few scooter listings.  I didn't want to ask if I could take their whole newspaper, but thought they might let me take the Ad page with me.  So I walked up to the counter and asked in Spanish,

"Can I take just one page?  I don't need all.  Just one page."  And I held it up so he could see what I was asking for:

Only I didn't show him that page.  That page was facing me.  Not until I got out to the car did I see what I really held up in his face.  The 'backside' of the scooter ads.  (Pun intended):

"I just really only need this one page."

The Turd Burglar Strikes Again.

Do you remember this little ditty of a story?:

Click here to read a hilarious story about how I thought there was a burglar who poops in the toilet before murdering his victims.

Well, tonight I was chatting with Murphy's dad and he said that Murphy put a footlong sub in the toilet.  Murphy has autism and can be a bit of a handful, so naturally I assumed that he put an actual footlong sub from Subway in the toilet.  Nope. 

It turns out Murphy was on the potty tonight, giggling and saying "Just try, OK?" over and over again.  Murphy likes to torture us by repeating our commands back at us, while disobeying them.  This is similar to how he runs around at the pool while screaming, "No running!"  Anyways, then Ben said "If you poop in the toilet, you can have some ice cream."  Apparently his little face immediately went serious and then he pushed that huge thing out.  That footlong-sub-sandwiched-sized-thing.  Yay Murphy!

If only I had known this little bribery trick all summer while Murphy and I spent precious HOURS in the bathroom.  I actually put him on the toilet every hour on the hour and made him sit there for five and sometimes up to fifteen minutes.  You can imagine the frustration.  Me, sick of changing his diapers, and him, probably sick of me encouraging him with phrases such as, "PUSH! PUSH!" and "Just try, OK?"

Welllll, my diabolical little Murphy, if it's ice cream you want, then it's ice cream you'll get
.

Nicady, Population 2

I was trying to think of a clever "Brangelina" name for us.  Actually the melding of the names started with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, (not with Brad and Angelina).  Remember "Bennifer"?  Credit where credit's due.  Anyways, so there's Hextos, Contum, (ew) Kacole...I guess Nicady is the lessest of all evils.

Here is our apartment.  It's a tiny little studio, with two twin beds, a patio table with two chairs, a loveseat, kitchen, and bathroom.



 

My bed is the messy one.


So naturally, we're pretty excited about moving on Wednesday to the luxury apartments known as The Oaks.  We're getting a two bedroom, two bathroom outfit, and The Oaks boasts three swimming pools.  Three times the price, but definitely three times the space. 

Nicole already lived at The Oaks for a month and promises me that there are no scorpions there.  Today one fell out of my messy bed onto the floor and so I'm kind of excited about that prospect.