Oprah? (Hal-isms, Vol. 12)

I called and talked to my parents today.  Their new pole barn/garage is finished, but it seems that the contractor sort of put it up on stilts, so much so that, according to my dad, "a woodchuck can run in without touching his hairs", and "you could crawl in on your belly if you wanted."

Some other gems from the conversation:

Getting in his jab about me traveling:
"We're watchin' Oprah.  Why don't you go back to singin' Enchilada or whatever you do down there?"  (And then he turned up the TV and I distinctly heard, not Oprah, but Judge Judy talking.)

I just don't see it?* 

Complaining about my mom not giving him enough space for his stuff:

"I got a gun closet big enough for one pair of shoes and I got 10 guns in there."

When I explained I have to hike Machu Picchu May 11th, and can't come home until June 1st:

"All they got is a buncha pot bellied Chinese up there.  Isn't that what those buddhas do?  Sit on mountains?"   (maybe. But not in Peru.)

And then he was over talking to me.  He said, "Oprah's really gettin' wild.  I can see it in her 'spressions".  Then he turned up the TV again.  I was like, "Ok, I guess I'll talk to you later...enjoy Oprah."  Who doesn't even have a show any more.

*(photo courtesy of homorazzi.com)