Friends Don't Let Friends Smoke Tampons?

One of my favorite party tricks is to take out a tampon and hold it up like Groucho Marx's cigar and talk like the Vlassic Pickle Stork and...well, it's HILARIOUS.  In my mind. 

The night I graduated from college (with a 2-year degree that took me 13 years to obtain BOO-YA), some friends and I went out for a little mini celebration afterward.  One particular friend, who I'll call "Alason" (her real name) had probably seen the aforementioned joke one-too-many times, because when I reached into my purse...she knew what was coming.  And then, in an attempt to prevent my humiliation she said, simply, and quietly enough for only me to hear: 

"Kady.  Don't Stoop."

"You know what would be hilarious right now?  A tampon cigar."