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Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig
through the archives to repost an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to
come up with new content every single day. This story originally appeared on September 14, 2010:
Cleaning out my dad's garage was pretty tough. He saves lots of seemingly worthless things. But, in his mind, they are priceless. Because everything has a use. If he needs to fix something, he always has just the right 2 X 4 to nail to it or the right screw to screw into it. He even has excess lawn mower handles in case the lawn mower's handle needs fixing he can just weld a new one. Even though the current lawn mower is 20 years old and has never needed a new handle. But throwing stuff away hasn't been easy for him. The quote I kept hearing over and over was, "it's not worth anything, but it's valuable. Valuable." My sisters and I boxed up a bunch of stuff he couldn't part with, and joked that we should just label every box, "VALUABLES." Here's an example of the kinds of conversations we were having all week:
Me: "Dad, why are you saving all these Clamato jugs?"
Dad: "For peein'."
Me: "Can I throw them away?"
Dad: *faints*
Dad: "These riggin' straps ain't worth anything, but they're valuable."
Me: "Can I throw them away?"
Dad: "Kady! the Value!"
_____________________
He's very organized. And every little box contains a different kind of nail or screw or hook or cord or tack or what-have-you:
And here we have a bag of 27 plastic crow decoys. For shootin' crows. (They got packed for the cabin):
My dad has a TON of bungie cords. He will pull over on the freeway if he sees a stray bungie cord to pick it up. I don't think he has ever paid for one. He just collects them, and according to my mom he has never and will never use them. One time they were hauling something somewhere and were trying to figure out how to tie whatever it was down. My mom suggested they use one of his bungie cords. He about fainted. Right now, they are boxed up to be moved to the cabin. Not loose, to use for the move. Boxed up, to be moved. And hung. In the new garage. For not using.
Tonight's Hal-ism: "My achin' a**. My achin' legs. My achin' knees. I'm a dyin' man. And now I'm throwing away valuable Clamato jugs."
4 comments:
I'm very familiar with this disease. It's called "keepincrapitis". It's a common ailment of po folk. I know, cuz I have it. (You should know that since you've been in my basement)
I'm very familiar with this disease. It's called "keepincrapitis". It's a common ailment of po folk. I know, cuz I have it. (You should know that since you've been in my basement)
Hahaha!! Po folk. It's so true.
Must be a Clamato and beer drinker? We are too. It's the msg that makes it so good.
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