Many years ago (when Laura came home and Mary was blind) my friends and I went to a NOFX concert at First Avenue in Minneapolis. We parked in the Target Center parking ramp (as lazy fans are wont to do). Well: the Target Center parking ramp stairwells were pretty gross. In those days, everybody knew that.
I forgot for a second and used the handrail to assist in pulling myself up the stairs. My friend Mitch saw me and gave me a nice preachy lecture about how you should never, ever touch anything in those stairwells because all the local bums come in there and pee all over the place. In a fit of I-don't-know-what because I'm a total germphobe, I looked ol' Mitch right in the eyeballs and, without losing eye contact, licked a good three foot section of handrail.
Later, I poured about a half bottle of whiskey onto my tongue (I suppose a few drops also spilled down my throat), hoping it would wash away the herpes, HIV, chlamydia and pregnancy I was sure to contract.
Why am I thinking of this, just now, 15 years later?
OH, I DON'T KNOW:
 |
| Better not watch Wrecking Ball, her latest video. It'll make you hate yourself. |
2 comments:
She has the grossest tongue too!Its too big and white. Gag. AND this washing my eyeballs with whiskey idea intrigues me.
Yes, whiskey is a great idea. I always cook with it when making chicken. By that, I mean whenever I cook chicken I drink whiskey for the same reason - what if I accidentally lick my fingers & have raw chicken juice on them? The whiskey is just insurance.
Love your blog, by the way.
Your latest cyberstalker,
Nutrideath
Post a Comment