Ol' Blue Bit the Dust and I Bit the Bullet.

RIP

After already having broken down and towed to the mechanic twice in one week, Ol' Blue didn't start one day at work. I was late for a meeting with my boss and all my old tricks weren't working. I adjusted the idle. I waited. I pressed the gas to the floor and kept it there as I turned the key. I flooded it. So I waited. I tried again. I started crying because I was so sad and frustrated. I loved that truck! I just had it fixed. Twice! I wanted it to work so's I could drive it for five years and then decide what to do about buying a different car. Is that too much to ask?

I texted my 27-year-old coworker Mike. "Truck won't start. Come out to parking lot right now and be my big brother and tell me what to do." Mike came out to the parking lot. As he approached I crank-rolled my truck window down and wiped the tears from my eyes.

Mike looked at my pathetic self and said, "go buy a car you dummy."

He helped me start the truck and I had 14 seconds to decide which direction I should go. Ol' Blue took me to Acura. (I did have to make one stop on the way at the toxic waste dump to unload a humidifier and some paint cans I had picked up from my rental property.)

I walked in like a fancy lady and asked for a manager. I said the following, numbering each bullet point with my hand:

• "I have one hour"
• "I want to drive away in the gunmetal gray ILX with tech package"
• "I want all-weather mats"
• "You're going to give me $1000 for the piece of crap truck in the parking lot"

One hour and five minutes later I drove away in my new car.

Once the fancy business lady stuff was over I could take off my serious poker negotiating game face and do this:

And this:

And this:

(I guess the extra five minutes was kind of my fault.)

p.s. they only gave me $500 for Ol' Blue. I mean it also didn't start when they tried. But I made them throw in the all-weather mats for free which meant technically I got $650. I call that a win.