Hal-isms, Vol. 51

"If your mother gets much older, you're going to have to move in with us to protect me."

"Everything you do I did it 30 years earlier."

"Your mother? She could sing tambourine for hours."

"I love you, and I love talking to you. But talk to your mom. My back hurts."

To my mom: "I'm on the phone with the Kady...our beloved daughter...our favorite daughter."