Happy as a Lark

I probably shouldn't talk so much about disrespecting old people because my dad will no doubt disown me, but a funny thing happened the other day at Trader Joe's:

I was pushing a cart around when I saw a little old man riding one of those store-provided electrical motor scooters. It was obviously the kind of thing where he could walk, but he just chose to ride the scooter and wouldn't you do the same thing if you were him? (I can't wait for the day when I'm gray enough to get away with it.)

So of course I felt like by making that choice he was publicly stating: "I'm up for a bit of teasing." Plus: Old people LOVE me.

I pulled up next to him and matched his slow scooter-y pace with my cart. "WANNA RACE?" I hollered over at him. He appeared not to hear me, even though I yelled it pretty loud and he was not two feet away. He kept on scooting and so I said, "OH..HAHA! I MADE A JOKE! MAYBE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME?"

"I heard you." He said, quietly, not looking at me and never stopping his scoot.

But I kept following him. "OH! HAHA!" And I patted his shoulder. "BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LAUGH, SO I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME!" And then he didn't say anything more and joined his wife in the produce section and they got away.

And then he threw the tomato at me.