Mensa Moment

A couple of my goodest friends Matt & Laurissa happen to live across the street from me. I've watched their cats (Salvadore and Gala) when they go out of town for a few years now, and I think it was about two years ago that they installed a coded back door lock. So instead of giving me a key these days, they just have me use the code, which is 9976. Just kidding. 

Anyway, ever since this code thing started, I've had just a slight sense of inconvenience because it's really hard to get in their backyard. (...And I mean really the sense of inconvenience is only VERY slight because I totally watch their TV and do all my laundry and basically just clean out the litter, freshen water and food once a day and let the cats sleep in their bed with me and cuddle them and take pictures and put them on Instagram so Laurissa won't miss them so much when she's gone. Also, I should probably clarify that I only slept there when I was homeless.) 

Anyway, it's so hard to get in their backyard!

Allow me to demonstrate, and thank you to L for taking video. This is the first option: 

Re-enactment.

I have yet to get in that way. I'm too short and the latch is too nice and new and even if I could reach it, it doesn't come open for me. Fortunately there's another option nearer to their garage which has a much more broken-in latch. It's pretty rusted out and comes undone easily:

Re-enactment.

My problem is getting it locked again. It's very difficult to get the doors to marry up properly, and once I finally do, the latch is so broken and rusty that it doesn't always stay locked. Also it hurts my back and also I'm putting 150 pounds of pressure on it several times a year and I feel terrified that I'm breaking their fence!

Re-enactment.

Well. Last month, M & L went to Chicago for the weekend and asked me to check in on the cats. I almost asked them to leave me a key because I wasn't looking forward to the whole cat burglar (pun intended) fence operation at all. But I forgot. So, I popped the latch, used the code (8460. Just Kidding), made sure the cats were happy and paid attention to, and also I did my laundry. Then I once again almost broke the poor fence, but I got it locked again.

In between loads, on one particular trip up the basement stairs it dawned on me. There was a third option!

Re-enactment.

What makes the fact that there was a third option at all so upsetting and hilarious at the same time is that I totally knew about it! I have used it ONE MILLION TIMES over the years.

WHAT THE HECK?

I don't know. It was never in the context of watching the cats. It was only if I was walking over to a fire in their backyard and wanted to skip the walking-through-the-house part. Or if I was going between their house and the neighbors on the other side and didn't want to jump that chain-link fence in the meantime.

But for watching the cats? I just always went to the back. For TWO. YEARS.

"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."