I've shared with all of you the events surrounding my birth, including how my mom went and bought 50 pounds of Purina dog food on the day that I was born...and how my dad was hired by the US GOVERNMENT and probably more excited about that than about having another baby?
Well I just came across this DOOZY.
Readers, when I was ONE DAY OLD, fragile and tiny, deserving of undivided attention by both of my parents, my dad went and bought a 3 1/2 x 13 Taylor Made Hull-Gard Boat Fender at Marks Marine. He must have been excited about his new job and decided to treat himself. Also, we had a boat? That would have been fun.
What the heck is a Taylor Made Hull-Gard Boat Fender, you ask?
I don't know. It's this. And it hurts my feelings.
Have you ever wondered where the dog dummies come from? He buys boat bumpers, and wraps them in the middle with jute rope and adds a rope on the end to throw it. He did not buy a boat until 1990. Mystery solved? Maybe I kicked him out of the house that day and told him to go out and play. I think I was scrubbing the floors.
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