Sunday Favorites: How Do Normal People Ride the Elevator?

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to repost an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day. Enjoy! This story originally appeared November 1, 2013:

Last night after work I got into the elevator to find three young handsome men including a bearded redhead -- and you know I'm a total sucker for beards and for redheads. They were in the middle of a conversation but that didn't stop me from stepping right in the middle of all three of them, while maintaining eye contact with the redhead and declaring,

"OOOH! I LIKE MY CHANCES!"

And then acknowledging the awkwardness of making that joke right upon entering the elevator, not considering the time required to make a 10-floor descent, I turned back to the door and declared again,

"I SHOULD HAVE MADE THAT JOKE A LITTLE LATER IN THE ELEVATOR RIDE. HEH HEH HAHEHAHDHADHEHDHHAHHAHAHA. AWKWARD. HAHAHAHAah!!!!!"

They looked at me, confused and the redhead continued speaking, presumably where they had left off before I broke their conversation. '...and then I talked to Rosalind about it...'

And then I interrupted again, mock-angrily-crazy-eyesed, (you know, like a jealous hag over the '10-second relationship' I had just pretend garnered with the bearded red-headed cute one), cocking my head and positioning my arms across my chest:

"OH. ROSALIND. YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

"No. She's my manager." By now they realized I wasn't going to let them have their conversation and that clearly I wanted all of the attention on me. They gave me a slight pity laugh (because come on, that jealous bit was FUNNY) and then mercifully the elevator doors opened and THEN I said,

"I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE REALLY FAST BECAUSE I'M EMBARRASSED."

I went left when I should have went right, and then I figured it out and had to turn around and walk past them again and then I walked really really fast out of the building, with the three handsome men following me all of the way out.

WHY can't I be more like her?